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73 For many women like Melissa Salvatore, the social debate is irrelevant. “When it comes to abortion, it’s more common than people real- ize. We get so caught up in the debate that we forget what the experience can actually be like,” she said. “I want women to know … they are not alone.” After her ordeal, she took a trip to Thailand to clear her mind and reflect. Backpacking through the jungle, thinking, she felt a strong need to contribute, to make this information more available so other expat couples wouldn’t be afraid to reach out if they found themselves in trouble. Using a pen name, she wrote “My Abortion in Korea” for KoreaBridge, delivering an honest account of how she found herself in this situation and what it was like to dig her way out, start to finish, in full detail. Since the piece went out, she’s been contacted by more than 100 men and women looking for help. She gets two to five emails every month and responds to every single one. “I offer encouragement, suggest a few plac- es they can look for counseling services and information, but mostly I just tell them that no matter what, whatever they decide is the best for themselves right now — that’s the right choice,” she said. “I tell them it’s going to work out.” For David and Hyo-jin, the experience ul- timately ended well. Following their ordeal, things steadily improved; Hyo-jin and her fam- ily reconnected, David’s family offered support and encouragement and in March, they had welcomed a healthy baby girl into their lives. “What appeared to be a nightmare in the beginning has culminated in a happy, positive, healthy way,” David said, and his new mother- in-law is doing her best to welcome him into the family. “After we got married, Min started driving over to our house to drop off food and goodies. If this is her way of showing her sup- port and love, I’ll take it.” If you’re in Korea and in need of support, counseling or just information, there are a number of resources should you decide to terminate a pregnancy, or to seek out other options. 1. Finding a counselor Unless you have strong or fluent Kore- an-language skills, it may be easier to seek out phone services from your home country. Planned Parenthood is an excellent place to start, with 24-hour access to phone counsel- ing and support, completely free of charge. Other places to look include Choice in Health, the British Pregnancy Advisory Service and the Australia Pregnancy Counseling Link. Also, consider contacting a former doctor from your home country, since many of them either offer the same assistance or can point you in the direction of someone who can. But no matter where you look, be certain you are receiving unbiased, reliable information by thoroughly researching the organization before you call. 2. Finding a doctor Groove Korea is unable to direct you to phy- sicians who perform abortions. However, Me- lissa Salvatore has amassed a list of contacts and first-hand reviews that will help make sense of it all. Contact her at melissa_salva- tore58@yahoo.ca. *To protect the indentities of the people involved in this story, the names of some interviewees have been changed. a personal choice how to get help 3. settling the bill On average, the total cost of an abortion is somewhere between 500,000 and 800,000 won, all of which will likely need to be paid in cash. This usually includes the initial consul- tation, the procedure itself, a follow-up exam and medication. While individual plans vary, it’s unknown whether any of these costs are cov- ered by insurance. 4. knowing what to expect Don’t be surprised if you don’t have the same negotiating power with the doctor as you would at home. Abortion is illegal, and as a result clinics have a lot of red tape to sidestep and established methods for doing so. Ultrasounds, the use of anesthetics and recovery procedures for the clinic are all de- signed to avoid trouble with the law and, ac- cordingly, are unlikely to be changed for you. 5. Practicing prevention There are many options available. Birth con- trol pills are reliable and accessible over the counter for less than 10,000 won, including familiar brands and others with comparable hormone dosages to those found abroad. The most popular brand is Mercilon (머시론), a low-dose pill available in 28-day packs for 7,000 won. The Korean word for contracep- tives is “pi-im-yak” (피임약). There are even more options available from the gynecologist, and appointments are simple, fast and cheap. You can get OrthoEvra, Nuvaring, Implanon or Mirena IUD. There are also also a myriad of condom options at HomePlus and E-Mart. GROOvECASt GrooveCast host Chance Dorland and writer Shelley DeWees speak with Melissa Salvatore about abortion. Check out the episode at groovekorea.com. Planned Parenthood www.plannedparenthood.org choice in health www.choiceinhealth.ca British Pregnancy Advisory Service www.bpas.org Australia Pregnancy counselling Link www.pcl.org.au ‘I may be small, but I still have a right to be loved.’ Babies have a right to be born into love.