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71 when they hear you got pregnant, they think you must’ve been getting it on all the time.” For Sunny Cho, the situation was grave. “My sister had just gotten married at age 22, and even though they all said she was too young and that her boyfriend wasn’t good enough, my father finally gave permission and the wed- ding proceeded.” It was during all this drama when Sunny realized she’d become pregnant. Marrying young was one thing but the pros- pect of becoming an unwed single mother was much more serious. “I couldn’t tell anyone,” she said. “I was so afraid they would force me to marry my boy- friend and that I’d be stuck.” Sunny con- sidered her options — and even thought of running away for a while to give birth — but eventually she decided on an abortion. “No one ever knew, not my sisters nor my parents. I felt so stupid, but I couldn’t have a kid with no dad,” she said, referring to the strong stigma against, and lack of support for, unwed mothers in Korea. Fitting into Korean societal norms was also a big problem for Hyo-jin* and her American boyfriend David,* who were happily making plans for their baby to arrive when, about a month into her pregnancy, Hyo-jin finally got up the nerve to tell her parents. As David told Groove Korea, “Her mom, Min,* started bombarding us with negative criticism, saying Hyo-jin’s life in Korea would be ruined and her family’s reputation tainted if anyone found out she’d gotten pregnant with a foreigner. And out of wedlock, too.” Min then set out on an aggressive campaign to convince the couple to abort, starting with questioning David’s fitness as a partner and culminating in her actually making an appoint- ment for her daughter’s abortion at a clinic she’d found on the sly. David was against it, but by this time Hyo-jin was starting to be- come convinced that abortion was the right thing to do for her family. So, even though neither of them really wanted to, Hyo-jin and David kept their appointment. “The clinic was small, clean, professional,” David said. “Pretty much exactly like a stan- dard doctor’s office, and at that particular time I was the only male in the place.” Hyo-jin went in first, and the doctor started prepping her for the procedure. When David came in 10 minutes later he was handed a small piece of paper. “It was all in Korean, but Hyo-jin explained it released the clinic from liability, and in order for the doctor to continue we would both have to sign it,” David said. “But I refused.” Hyo-jin begged him to reconsider, while Min pleaded with the doctor to just go ahead with it any- way, explaining in Korean that Hyo-jin needed help, and that David would just leave the country and de- stroy her daughter’s life. “The doctor responded with a near-laugh,” David said, “saying she didn’t think I’d be leaving the country since I was the only one trying to save the baby. I couldn’t stop them from going somewhere else, but I did have the power to stop them that day, in that doctor’s office. I knew it wasn’t right for us; Hyo-jin was being guided by fear.” Later on, David went home alone. He thought he’d never see Hyo-jin again, worried she’d go straight to another clinic, felt for sure their relationship was over. But then Hyo-jin came back to their apartment. “She explained that my performance at the doctor’s office had surprised and impressed her mom, and that what- ever assumptions Min had had about me were now discarded.” Hyo-jin was happy and relieved she had not gone through with the procedure, and apologized repeatedly for agreeing to the appointment. “Cultural pressures and expectations had gotten the better of her, for that moment anyway. But in the car she’d told her mom that unless she wanted to partic- ipate in a positive manner, she’d better stay the hell out of our lives.” ‘The Light of Life’ Let it never go out! ‘i apologized again and again, and felt like i owed them some kind of explanation. it was humiliating.’ Suji Sook,* from ‘I Had an Abortion’ (2013)